Last night was the last night of summer. My youngest daughter pulled me close as I tucked her in. She whispered, "I've been waiting until our private time to tell you that I just don't think I can do it tomorrow." As she burst into honest tears, I fought hard to push back my own. Kindergarten was beginning the next morning, and this would be a whole new chapter for her, for me. This would also be the first time in her short life that she has not had her twin brother with her in class. It's a lot of change and a big step.
I did my best to comfort her and to assure her that she would indeed make it. I tried not to sugar coat the truth, that it indeed might be hard, that she might still miss me, but I also told her that it was something she had to do. Again, I reassured her that she would make it. From my perspective, that's easier to see. As her mom, by God's grace, I have been preparing her for this day all of her sweet little life. I know it's part of the plan to grow her into a mature young woman one day. I know that I have made sure she has everything she needs.
This morning as she faced that fear and unknown with a courageous smile and a step forward into that Kindergarten classroom, the freshness of this lesson resonated within my own heart. How many times have I cried out to God, "I just can't do it tomorrow!", or today or this moment? How many times have change and challenge and unknown reduced me to tears and a "certainty" that I just can't do what God is asking me?
There have been many. At every one though, there was the voice of my strong, able, faithful Heavenly Father telling me, "Yes you can do it. I have prepared you for this all along. I have given you everything you need to face this." That same faithful God-there for me at every one of my crossroads of belief, of the choice to put faith in action, was there for both me and my daughter last night. He doesn't let me run from hard or change or challenge, because He knows it is for my good. Just as I know that Kindergarten is a necessary step for my daughter to grow.
So the challenge for me is: Will I trust that God's perspective and purpose are bigger than my own? When change and unknown tempt me to hide in dormancy, will I instead choose to take a step forward in faith? Will I trust that I am held and led by the unshakable love of my Father who says, "Yes, you can face tomorrow, and I will be right there with you when you do."
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Psalm 32:8
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