Saturday, January 30, 2010

What if?

(Saturday, March 10, 2007)

what if?

what if God does something totally unexpected in our lives? what if, in His wildness, He completely blows our miniscule ideas about our lives out of the water? what then?

what if, in His majesty, He refuses to climb into the "god of my life" mold i make for Him by my own preconceived notions of who He is (which hold no merit against scripture)? what then?

perhaps it is a fault of definitions and parameters. if God is really God to me and i have truly surrendered my life to Him, then it's not really my place to put conditions and parameters as to how He can use my life, how He should bless me, what the next step for me is to be. faith like that is no faith at all. it shamelessly reduces the glory of a wildly powerful and magnificent God to the trappings of mortal men. and that God i do not find in my Bible.

i am learning head on just how selfish and demanding i am. as if God should bow at my every whim because after all, "He loves me so much." no, i am learning instead, that if i meant it when i told Him He could have my life, then i am also giving up my claims on what that looks like and the timing of how things come to pass.

don't misunderstand me though. there is something deeply liberating about trusting God in His wildness, about joining Him on an untamed adventure of faith, where all of the eggs of the basket of life are in one wild place. but oh what a place to be! it's like a bird finally plunging out of the nest to fly...terrifying and liberating all at once. and the view so much more broad, so much more breathtaking than the "safe" place lived before.

and in time, living in this kind of reckless abandon of faith,we begin to discover that what we thought was so precious and well planned...those courses and prescriptions for our own happy picture of life have become wildly redefined. we discover dreams and frontiers we could have never imagined on our own because they are painted with the majesty of a wild and sovereign God who knows better than we do what we need, what will bring us true joy and life. we discover in an unforgettable way that God is about making us holy more than making us happy. (if the latter, then He would be nothing more than a genie. and let me be the first to testify, He is no such thing.)

i have walked with God for many years and i never tire of learning more about His fascinating power and His incredible love. He has FAR outgiven and outranked any miniscule thing i have give up to follow Him. i am realizing that He has more to do in and through me than i would ever believe about myself.

so as i journey with Him to break the will of my whining, selfish, faultfinding soul, i find Him forging new territory of faith and adventure in me. and i am so humbled at His invitation to take a deep breath, jump and let the wind of His Spirit blow wild through my hair as i learn to soar to new heights.

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to Him who is able to do immeasureably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! AMEN!


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